3 years

I can't believe it's been 3 years! On one hand it seems like yesterday, and on the other hand, it feels like another lifetime. (I think I say that every year, but it is so true!) I guess it kind of was another lifetime, I have changed in so many ways since that day. I never imagined this day would come - where I would be ok again. I still miss him every day but it's not crippling like it was for so long. I am so very thankful to God because I know I will hold him again someday and we will be together forever. I can't wait to hold him in my arms.

I knew I hadn't blogged in a long time, but I didn't realize there were only a couple of posts last year! There is so much on my mind, but it's so hard to take the time to just stop and reflect sometimes. It takes a lot of energy to sit down and get it all out, and frankly I just haven't had it in me.

One song I want to add to my playlist is Kenny Chesney's "Who You'd Be Today". I often wonder what it would be like if he was here. If he would look like me like Ranger and Danner do or if he would look like Mark like Gunner does. I wonder if he'd be quiet and calm (ha!) or a rootin' tootin' stinker like his brothers. We talk a lot about how crazy it would be if we still had Tyler and Gunner! I truly believe that losing him saved my soul. I have learned a lot about trusting and seeking God, but I wish it wouldn't have taken the loss of a child to do that.

Another song whose lyrics touch me is Faith Hill's "Everywhere I Am There You'll Be":

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky,

In my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me

And everywhere I am there you'll be

Happy Birthday sweet boy, we miss you every day. Gunner even likes to look at your picture in the mornings!