Baby Name Test Drive

I put a baby name poll up on the sidebar and I found this "test drive" at babynamegenie.com
It's pretty funny! The genie will also make a name for you - he's not very good though. The best one today was Orion Richard!!

Gunner , could you please set the table?
I am not joking around Gunner , this is really important to me!
Gunner --Gunner ! Are you listening to me!?!
Hello, Wellington Inc. this is Gunner .
Gunner Shipman, come on down! You're the next contestant!
Hey Gunner . How are you doing?
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gunner Shipman.
Gunner ! Pick up your toys. I am not going to ask you again.
I am at Gunner Shipman's house.
Do you Gunner Shipman take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I talked to Gunner this afternoon.
I am sorry, Gunner isn't here right now. Can I take a message?
You'll have to see Gunner Shipman about that. He will know what to do.
Yes? Gunner ? Do you have a question?
Mr. Shipman, if Gunner would consistently turn his homework in--on time--he would be one of my star pupils.
Would passenger Gunner Shipman please see the nearest ticket agent?
Gunner . Is that you?
And the winner is... Gunner Shipman!
Mommy! Gunner ate my cookie!
Hello, you've reached the voice mail of Gunner Shipman. I am away from my desk right now. Please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as possible.
Gunner , it's not the end of the world. It's just a car. You are more important than a car.
Gunner , I love you!
Write back soon. Your Friend, Gunner
Does Gunner like avocado?
Gunner , it's time for dinner.
Gunner , Shipman. Spelled G-U-N-N-E-R- .
Oh, there you are Gunner . I've been looking all over for you!

Now for Kyler -

Kyler, could you please set the table?
I am not joking around Kyler, this is really important to me!
Kyler--Kyler! Are you listening to me!?!
Hello, Wellington Inc. this is Kyler.
Kyler Shipman, come on down! You're the next contestant!
Hey Kyler. How are you doing?
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kyler Shipman.
Kyler! Pick up your toys. I am not going to ask you again.
I am at Kyler Shipman's house.
Do you Kyler Shipman take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I talked to Kyler this afternoon.
I am sorry, Kyler isn't here right now. Can I take a message?
You'll have to see Kyler Shipman about that. He will know what to do.
Yes? Kyler? Do you have a question?
Mr. Shipman, if Kyler would consistently turn his homework in--on time--he would be one of my star pupils.
Would passenger Kyler Shipman please see the nearest ticket agent?
Kyler. Is that you?
And the winner is... Kyler Shipman!
Mommy! Kyler ate my cookie!
Hello, you've reached the voice mail of Kyler Shipman. I am away from my desk right now. Please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as possible.
Kyler, it's not the end of the world. It's just a car. You are more important than a car.
Kyler, I love you!
Write back soon. Your Friend, Kyler
Does Kyler like avocado?
Kyler, it's time for dinner.
Kyler, Shipman. Spelled K-Y-L-E-R.
Oh, there you are Kyler. I've been looking all over for you!

Baby Update

I just realized that I never posted the newest pictures of the baby. I went to the Dr last week and he looked great! I am now going every 2 weeks and we are waiting to see if (when) preterm labor will rear it's ugly head. But for now, so far so good.

Here's a picture of the crib quilt I got - I got the rest of the set yesterday and I'll take a picture of it all as soon as I find a crib to put it in!

I was blog-stalking yesterday and I came across this post. She has lost 2 babies and is now pregnant again and this post is about how having a new baby doesn't take away the emptiness left by her boys. It touched me and is very well said so I thought I'd share
http://babybolte.blogspot.com/

Presents

Tyler got presents!! His Granna sent some flowers with a beautiful angel and his Meme, Donna and Kala sent a snowglobe with his name and birthday engraved on it. His daddy named a star after him. He is so loved . . .

Happy Birthday Tyler

I woke up this morning right at 3am which is the time that Tyler was born. It is so amazing how our minds and bodies know that kind of thing. One year ago, I was just starting a journey that I never imagined I would survive. I thought I was going to be lost in the pit forever, but I wasn't. I made it and I am ok. I realized laying there this morning that even though I miss Tyler and wish he was still here, my grief and sadness still aren't for him. He is in the best place possible and will never have to feel the pain and agony of this earth. I, on the other hand, still do. The memories still hurt and so do some of the regrets. I didn't hold him and didn't even look at him. I know that for me, that was for the best, but it is so hard not to look back and wish I had done things differently. What I have realized though, is that there is no perfect way to give birth and say goodbye to a dead baby. No matter what choices you make, there will always be something you wish you did different. I know that God guided those decisions for me and led me to do what would be best in the long run. Just like I know it was God that made Dr C say it was a boy whether he really was or not.
I was talking to Mark about Tyler this morning and he told me that I should just be happy that I made it through this year ok and that we have another baby coming (not that he would replace Tyler, but it's ok to be happy anyway). He's right. I need to look at this year and how much I have grown and overcome. I was reading my Bible yesterday and that pesky verse came up again "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess 5:21 (?). I have so much to be thankful for, even as much as my heart hurts today.
One thing I am very thankful for, is that now that I look back, I see that God prepared me to handle this. The first thing that comes to mind is back when I was in high school, our band director's baby died right before it was due and his wife still had to give birth. I remember thinking about how hard that would be and how I could never do that. (have you ever noticed that when you say that, you end up having to do it?) I had never heard of anything like that happening before and for some reason, that has stuck in my head all these years. The next thing is a friend of mine had quadruplets and their son Hunter passed away after they were born. They had the most amazing attitude in trusting God and praising him even through the worst of times. I remember realizing that God was taking me on a journey of faith, even though I really didn't understand what that meant. I could see God working through them and helping them make it through that very difficult time of losing a baby, praising God for the others, and having faith that they would be ok. (They are now very healthy, active 2 yr olds!). Then, Mark's aunt Sharon died very suddenly and unexpectedly. Her kids handled it with such grace and peace that it helped me realize the power of God can help you through anything when you lean on him. He planted the seeds before I was even pregnant with Tyler about faith and leaning on him. I didn't understand one bit of it then, but boy I do now.
Tyler, I miss you. You will always have your own special place in my heart. You made such an impact on my life in just the short time that I had with you.
Thank you God for letting me have him and for all of the good you've brought to me through him. Thank you for guiding me and holding me through it all.

I have new pictures of the baby, all is fine. I'll post them tomorrow and just let this be Tyler's day.

It's here (Donna get a tissue)

It's the dreaded 1 year anniversary. One year ago today was the last day of my old life and the old me. I had no idea of what was in store for me. February 7 was the day I found out he was gone. Today was the 1 year anniversary that my friend (IRL - I actually do have a few of those!) Melissa's baby girl was stillborn. I can honestly say that before I lost Tyler, I didn't know what it meant to have your heart really ache for someone else. I ached for Melissa today - for the pain she was feeling, for all the times she replayed and remembered every detail of 1 year ago today, and for the emptiness in her heart that will always be there. Jon Benet Ramsey's dad was on Oprah yesterday and she was asking him if he'd been able to move on and he said something like - yes, you have to, but when your child dies there is a hole in your heart that will always be there. Yes there is.
I can't say that I'm unhappy with the "new" me. I'm not entirely happy with some of the other things that have changed in the last year, but I can't dwell on that. All I can do is continue to thank God every day for leading and holding me through this.
I never imagined that the 1 year mark would reopen so many of the wounds that have been trying so hard to heal. Laying in bed at night, I remember laying in the u/s room like it was yesterday, I remember looking at the screen and realizing there was no heart beating, I remember the tech telling me "we have to talk . . . ", and I remember just repeating over and over "I knew it". I remember feeling so bad for my friends that had to be there for that - and I still do. I remember being numb - I still had to go pick up Ranger from school and he came home with the flu that day (he's sick today too). Mark and I went home and both got on our laptops to see what on earth would happen next. I mean this isn't really something that you have a plan for. That night was my first encounter with DeadBabyMama Land. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't stumbled onto them. There's so much that I remember every little detail and so much that is just a big blur.
When I think about it too long, I get a little mad at myself - I mean, really how could I have not known something was wrong? For pete's sake, I was 18 wks pregnant with my 3rd child and wasn't worried that I hadn't felt ANY movement? (other than the flailing I realized later was probably him dying) I even had a doppler and I just thought it was a piece of crap that didn't work.
I'm rambling - this has just totally knocked me off center and it has surprised me. Once again, I thought I was getting to a good place and was so emotionally healthy and BAM! I'm sure I'll have more to add on his actual birthday - it really bugs me that there is no term for that day. I am determined to come up with an appropriate term for the anniversary of the day someone died.
Please also keep Liz and Michelle in your prayers this week. And Elizabeth - her journey was much longer and harder, but it all started this week too.

Carrot, Egg, or Coffee

A friend of mine forwarded this email to me today and I thought it was worth sharing.

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'
'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes a long their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

I don't know about you, but I needed to hear that today. Thanks Shay!