Suffering

I have been reading in Job for the last couple of weeks. I needed to be in that book, especially in light of struggles and heartbreaks some very dear friends are experiencing. It seems like the best most Godly people are suffering so much more. Why do good people have to suffer? The short answer is - I don't know. What I do know is that God is in control and that He is able to bring good from the worst of circumstances. I am 9 mos out from my loss so I think I am able to get a bigger perspective on things that I could have even 2 mos ago. It seems the farther away I get from that awful day, the deeper I am able to dig spiritually. At first, I didn't want to look for answers, I wanted comfort and I just wanted God to flat out tell me what I wanted to know. As time went on, individual scriptures caught my attention, and now I am able to find more comfort in the fact that I will be in heaven someday with Tyler and how great that will be! It's taken millions of babysteps to get here.
Job was a righteous man and very wealthy and successful. Satan suggests to God that the only reason Job is faithful to Him is because of his prosperity. God permits Satan to test it out by taking away his prosperity. When Job remains faithful, God permits Satan to bring personal suffering to Job. Job, like all of us, wanted to know why this was happening to him. He turned to his friends who all had different, and wrong, opinions.
Angie at Bring the Rain mentioned the book "What the Bible is all about Bible handbook" (I'm so excited I finally learned how to hyperlink! Can you tell?)- it's a great book that explains each book of the Bible to people like me who really don't understand what it's trying to say. Here are some things it said about Job
"1. Job tore his robe (1:20). It is worthwhile for us to learn that we are meant to feel grief. Sorrow has its use in our lives. We are told "do not make light of the Lord's discipline" but be "trained by it." (Hebrews12:5,11) . . . 2. Job recognized that loss and sorrow are the laws of life. We have to learn that all possessions are transient. We are losing something every moment. We cannot stop and weep about everything that is taken from us. We have to learn a hard lesson - that we can live on in spite of all our losses. Begin to learn while you are young that nothing is necessary but Christ."
The real conflict here was between God and Satan. "When the trials came, Job did not understand the meaning of all of his suffering. He knew it was not because he had sinned, as his friends said. He wondered what God was doing. We will not always understand what God is working out in the battleground of our hearts. But know this: there is a reason and value to everything God allows and that 'in all things God works for the good of those that love him and have been called according to his purpose' (Romans 8:28). Job proved that Satan's statement concerning God's children was a lie, that is, that they only serve Him for what they can get out of it. Don't always try to find the reason for your trials and experiences. Sometimes we will have to wait for the answer . . . We will never find the answer to all of God's dealings. We may be honest and sincere as far as it goes, as were Job's friends, but God's ways are past finding out. God never allowed the devil to prove that God blundered when He made humans by suggesting that they only serve God for what they can get out of Him."
In the end, Job falls on his face before God and repents in "dust and ashes" for questioning Him. God restores his family and wealth 2 fold. "Job found God in his trouble. Many know God as a creator and believe in His greatness, but they do not really know God. The more we understand His ways the more we will love Him and put our trust in Him."
"God has a wise purpose in all of our suffering. God wants us to show His manifold wisdom (Eph 3:10). He wants the trial of our faith to work patience. He wants to bring out the gold as by fire. He wants to reveal real character."
Do I think God is sitting up in heaven and just decides "Hmm, I think I'll take her baby today and see what happens" - no! I think the earth, nature and everything in it has been set in motion and was made imperfect by sin. Bad things happen, but I think when we come to Him and put our trust and faith in Him, that's when He is able to bring the good things out of the worst situation.
I know that I am a very different person now than I was before Tyler's death. I know that I have such a greater understanding of God and eternity now. I have peace. I'm not as afraid of things as I was before. Good things have come out of his loss. Do they make up for the pain of losing him? No way but I have learned to appreciate the rain and be doubly thankful for the sun.