My sweet friend K, has found out that her baby is gone yet again. His name is Collin. I can't imagine having to go through this again, especially on top of 5 other losses. Please keep her in your prayers as she goes down this dark road once again. She is dear to me because she is one of the 2 women that saved me from sinking down into anger and bitterness after I lost Tyler. She encouraged me to find hope and to keep looking for the light. K, my heart truly aches for you today.
I have lost my mind! I am actually happy that I've made it past 20 weeks, so if we lose this baby he will be considered stillborn and not just a miscarriage. Why on earth would that make me happy? I am finding myself really struggling with anxiety lately (even before learning of K's loss). I never thought that making it past the time I lost Tyler would be this scary. There is talk of names, baby showers and the future that makes me want to throw up. I just can't get that far yet. I'm hoping that after I make it past 26 weeks, I'll be able to relax some but I know I won't truly rest until he is here - healthy and alive.
God may be subtle, but He isn't plain mean. -- Albert Einstein
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --A. Einstein
4 comments:
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --A. Einstein
That is my favorite quote of all time. My heart is breaking for K. She is the first person who reached out to me after I lost Brenna. She touched up her photo for me. I just love her, and feel so helpless right now.
I don't think it's crazy that you're happy to be past 20 weeks - I know what you mean. The baby is now more real to you, and if anything were to happen then your loss would be more real to others as well. Does that make sense? I don't mean for that to sound morbid or pessimistic, but I just mean that I get what you're thinking.
Kara, thank you for thinking of us and caring for us. I'm so glad that you're getting excited. You deserve to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy.
I totally "get" what you're saying about the 20 week mark. It seems like you when you make it to that point there are a lot more people that validate your baby as a real person. I think there is a natural sigh of relief that happens (at least I assume) when you reach that point after a loss.
All my very, very best.
I never fail to leave this site in tears. It makes my heart ache to know of all the babies that are lost. Until I had my OB rotation in nursing school, I had the same illusion that the majority of the people seem to have and that is that the loss of babies are less common now . Until you are in the medical field or you are a mom who has lost a child, you don't know just how "common" it still is. Yes, we are able to save babies born so very early but we there are still so many that we don't. This blog is a reminder of just how precious these little miracles are and how important it is not to take a pregnancy for granted or as an ordinary thing. Kara, I love you and even though its closing in on a year, my heart still hurts for the loss of Tyler but I know that it is nothing compared to the loss the mothers here feel. I will keep K. in my prayers and to all of them, I thank them from the bottom of my heart for giving you the outlet and the support that only they could give.
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