The Shack

I read this book by William Young this weekend while we were on vacation. It explained a lot of things to me about grief and loss and God. It's about a man whose daughter is murdered and he is lost in his sadness. God calls him back to the place where she was killed and the man spends a few days walking with God, Jesus, and the Spirit. I don't know if I believe that is true or not, but the things that are written that God said made a lot of sense to me. Here is a quote that caught my attention - this is God speaking to the man
"just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes.That will only lead you to false notions of me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."
I am going to go back and spend some time re-reading it so you may hear more about it soon.

I have settled into a different type of sad over Tyler - maybe it's the light touch of sad I will always carry with me. It's a peaceful kind of sadness. I have accepted that he's gone and it's ok, but I think there will always be a little empty spot in my heart for what could have been.
Pregnant ladies are starting to bother me though,I think mostly it is caused by my exhaustion from our trip. There was a woman at Disneyland that I saw 3 or 4 times one day, I don't know why I noticed her b/c I'm sure there were a bunch more there, but I imagined that she was as far along as I should be. I don't have anger or bitterness, just that touch of sadness that it should be me too. I am hoping that this will pass when his due date has come and gone.