Today is the random day the Dr picked that Tyler was due. A due date really has no significance, especially not for me since my kids were all born early. It's just a day that I think Dr's give just so you can tell all your friends when you are due. This due date is different. It marks an end and a new beginning. It's an end to the grieving of Tyler and a beginning to the life without him. There is so much that I have learned in the last 5 months and I am not the same person I was then, but thankfully I can say that's for the better and not worse. I have a relationship and understanding of God that I knew about before, but couldn't quite grasp how it all worked. He has saved me from my grief and sorrow and showed me that through faith, he truly can work all things together for good for those that love Him. He has shown me how to rejoice even in suffering. He has healed my broken heart. Thank you God. Thank you to every single deadbabymama on the 2nd/3rd tri loss board - I can't tell you how much it helped to know that I wasn't alone and to be able to say the things I was too scared to admit to anyone else. Thank you to Stephanie, Kristi and all the Hope Floatin mamas for catching me before I fell into the pit of bitterness and anger and helping me stay focused on the good things. Thank you to every person in my family that has asked about Tyler, me and my due date. Thank you to Aunt Lavoy for his beautiful quilt. Thank you Mark, Ranger and Danner for putting up with me and the not-so-nice version of me for the last few months. Thank you to Pastor Cecil and Duane Sheriff - your words of God have blessed me and lifted me up. I have been richly blessed.
Philippians 4:4-7
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
1 comment:
Been thinking about you all day sweetie. I hope you are able to find a new kind of peace and understanding now. (((hugs)))
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