I thought that last (week 4) post would be the end of my journal. Things were getting better and I thought I was getting through this. I don't know how to describe the feeling I'm having right now - I'm not sad, angry, or questioning anymore. I am at peace. I feel pretty normal while I'm out and about, but when I get home, I feel blah. I don't want to get up in the morning, I don't want to do laundry, cook, clean or anything else. I still do what has to be done for my family, but I would rather sit here and do nothing. I guess these are all the things I've been forcing myself to do for the last 2 months so I don't get why I've lost my motivation all of the sudden. God keeps putting songs about joy in my heart, so I've figured out that my joy is lost.
"I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart" and "j-o-y down in my heart, deep deep down in my heart" It must be hiding way down in there somewhere!
1 comment:
Have you checked under your peace? Seriously, sometimes I find myself so mellowed out by my peace that i forget to laugh outloud (or feel a little guilty if I do)... I'd check under your peace - that's where my joy usually is!
PS... you know I'm kidding right? I'm really glad that you started a spot just for Tyler (((hugs)))
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